Goodbye Party!!!

The girls threw me a surprise goodbye party!!! It was so sweet and so much fun! They all brought me a dish from home and then we had a big dance party. Two of my favorite things: Food and Dancing!!! Such a sweet gesture too. Attached are pics of the food (only about half of what was actually there) which included coconut chutney and two yummy sweet rice dishes. The green rice dish literally turned Anshu's hands green--still not sure what happened. Also pictures of the community mobilizers, the woman who told me I looked thirty (HA!), and a fun video from the dance party!

AMLOD

These are my last few days in Delhi. Can you believe it? I feel like I blinked and six weeks went by. Don't get me wrong, there were some rough days when I wanted to quit and travel on my own. My patience has been tested to it's absolute limit (although let's be honest, that's not hard to do), but for the most part I've grown attached to Delhi. It's the place in India I know best and for better or worse I will be sad to leave. I am especially sad to leave my friends at SPOWAC. I feel very protective of the girls, somewhat like my little sisters. The other day, a new volunteer asked me if the girls appreciate what I do for them. I replied, "More like, do I appreciate what they do for me?" Besides the fact that everyone I've met at SPOWAC has been incredibly kind and welcoming (except for that one woman who told me I look 30 grrrr), they also work so hard and are truly doing amazing work--the real deal. Aside from the specified goals, SPOWAC's biggest strength is that it offers women a safe haven to congregate in a setting that has nothing to do with housework or married life; to do activities and make choice that revolve around themselves and not about the men in their lives. During this brief glimpse, I've watched girls build confidence and challenge themselves. Last week I taught this girl, Gunja, "cut and paste" on the computer. It took an hour and a half (mostly because of the language barrier) but the next day when I arrived she waved me over excitedly and demonstrated the command for me with ease. As of today she is learning Excel formulas--pretty extraordinary. I've learned that SPOWAC really is a rare occurrence in Delhi, maybe even India, and as such I decided a few weeks ago to forgo buying gifts for my friends and family and use that money for things that SPOWAC really needs. I didn't spend an exorbitant amount or anything, but SPOWAC really needs some better computer equipment, and since I have the means and I know they will be used for an amazing purpose I decided to go for it. So I went to a computer market and bought loads of equipment. By the way, a couple years ago in SE Asia I made a list titled, "Things seen on motorbikes" and I'm now proud to add: An American girl with a small mountain of computer equipment. I'm sorry if this is disappointing to some of you but any trinket that I would buy couldn't possibly compare to the usefulness of this equipment. These girls are smart and driven, and it's unfair that they should have to put up with keyboards and mice that don't work. So yesterday I presented it to Madame Lakshmi and after hugging me she called the computer tech guy and he came over that afternoon to install everything. There was no big show, just doing what needed to be done--my style exactly. Today Pretti asked me, with complete sincerity, why is education important? What a question to ask me this week! I grabbed her notebook and, stealing a bit from Amartya Sen, I wrote: Education is Freedom. I gave it back to her and watched her read it with a friend--such a moment.

It's really the little things that I will miss about Delhi. How when addressing a man 10 years older or more you call him "Uncle." How every cup of chai tastes slightly different depending on who is making it. How every Indian head bobble is unique--I've picked one up myself. The elegant way a dupata subtly falls off women's shoulder. How my name is absolutely impossible for every Indian I come in contact with--one of the computer students was drawing me a Happy Birthday card on the computer and spelled my name "AMLOD." I guess the best way to describe my impression of Delhi is this: You are riding in the back of a rickshaw on the freeway. You are being violently jolted around by the giant potholes and erratic swerving of the driver. What seems like thousands of cars are constantly honking for no reason in your ear, and you are surrounded by a miserable cloud of dust and smog. Suddenly a motorbike whizzes by and on the back is a woman in a striking bright saree fluttering beautifully in the wind. For me, Delhi is a constant juxtaposition of disgusting, crazy, ridiculousness and surprising beauty, kindness, and warmth.

I'm surprised at how much India has affected me, although I'm sure it will be a long time before I understand the full breath. On Saturday I leave Delhi for Rishikesh and a week of R & R. I'm very excited to see more of India. Attached are photos of me buying a saree (and going into saree overload), the dog Jenny who lives at my homestay, the girls practicing giving each other whitening-facial treatments (yes, you read that correctly), some gorgeous chillies, the rickshaw with the wheel that fell off on the freeway with me in it, girls on the computers (Gunja is the first one), and some other fun pics. Enjoy!

Oh India

Wow. Ok I just reread my past few blog entries! Intense, to say the least! You probably wouldn't know it but I am actually having a spectacular time over here. I am frequently asked why I love traveling and to be honest I don't have a clear answer. It's more often than not difficult and uncomfortable, but for some reason that's what I enjoy the most. Today I met a German woman who lived in Rajasthan for eight years as a social worker and has since been traveling around the world for the past four years, and her answer was: "Because traveling is the best University in the world." TRUTH! So now I'm going to answer a few important questions and dispel some egregious rumors. First and foremost, while some of my fellow volunteers have fallen victim to wearing MC Hammer pants in the Delhi heat a.k.a. jeany pants, I have not. Second, and I know most of you have been waiting on pins and needles for this particular update, my mini-travel speakers are a MAJOR hit in India! Everyone who encounters them loves them immediately, and me by default of course. The plan is officially a success! I have also been (informally) assigned to choosing a soothing song to wake everyone up in the morning...although this is sporadic since I'm usually one of the last to wake up. Third, and I can hardly believe I'm writing this, I have remained Delhi Belly free for my entire time in India!!! This I attribute to nothing short of a miracle. I really hope I didn't just jinx myself. Attached are some pictures from my weekend in Manali, a stunning city in the Himalayas. I did a short trek, bathed in hotsprings, and went paragliding---an amazing weekend! I'll end this post with one of my world-renowned lists that I love to come up with on my trips.

You Know You're in India When...
1. Three monkeys walk into your school and interrupt your lesson
2. You constantly play "Would you rather have Delhi Belly or..."
3. People vomit outside the window on a bus at least once per day
4. You have to carry a sweat rag at all times
5. The place to exchange Travelers Checks is also a bra store
6. Women sit sideways on motorbikes
7. You've sat at a traffic light for a minimum of 15 minutes
8. Mules and bicycles are allowed on freeways
9. Your bus driver stops the bus to offer blessings to a Hindu God
10. Indians are getting Delhi Belly
11. 100 people are riding in a 40 person bus....

Would anyone like to add anything?

Much Love,
Em

A Typical Day?

So I haven't posted in a while because, to be honest, I've had a rough time since my last post. A lot of things are starting to get to me. The pure chaos of Delhi, the constant nastiness from men whenever I am in public, and just some basic traveler's bad luck. But one of my close friends wisely advised me to stop getting frustrated and try my best just to let go. And now we come to today. This morning, instead of taking the bus to SPOWAC (an experience worthy of its own blog entry) I hopped in an autorickshaw (which is basically a bumper car) and headed to the bus station to buy my ticket for this weekend's excursion. While stuck in traffic on the freeway I noticed a woman walking in the opposite direction on the side of the freeway, no more than 10 meters from me, a strange sight even for Delhi. All of a sudden a man appeared running after her and literally started beating the crap out of her--punching her in the face, stomach, chest. This was all in plain daylight on a crowded, slow-moving freeway, and no one stopped to do anything about it. A woman getting beaten, whether on TV, in the newspaper, and especially in front of me, is something that just instantly triggers me. It's never happened to me, but I've just never been able to comprehend how a man can do such a thing. I immediately started crying and tryed to get my rickshaw driver's attention. He shrugged and said something about it just being marriage. I mean, honestly! The woman had started walking away from the man in the direction of traffic now and when she passed my rickshaw I asked if she was ok and yelled at her to get in my rickshaw. She hopped in immediately, the traffic gods somehow cleared a path for us, and we sped off. I gave her one of my baby wipes to clean her face and asked her what had happened. She told me everything. That he was her boyfriend of three years and had been beating her the entire time. She didn't know what to do because he had managed to cut her off from all her friends and family. It is worth noting that this woman was well-dressed, spoke excellent English, and works at the University of Delhi. She is also absolutely beautiful. After she finished talking, I didn't know what else to do except demand that she leave this man and cite the little research I've done on domestic violence. That his behavior will never stop, that she should not feel ashamed because this happens to women all over the world, and that she must take the risk of not knowing what would happen if she leaves him. I dropped her off at a metro station, took her phone number, and told her I would call her this afternoon to check in. All this before 10am. I'm not sure what is going to happen with this woman, Kawaljeez, but hopefully I can get in touch with her soon. . Fast forward to after work....I guess on Monday I agreed to go to dinner at the house of one of the girl's at SPOWAC. I don't remember this, but then again I do say yes to a lot of Hindi phrases that I don't understand. At 2:30pm the girl, Annu, picked me up and took me straight to her apartment. We walked through a maze of the narrowest crowded streets in Delhi for about 15 minutes until she pointed to a steep staircase that seemed to just appear out of nowhere from the wall. Each stair was about a foot and a half apart and there were three levels so I was definitely working my thighs. I honestly don't know how many family members were there but everyone immediately started bringing me loads of chai and snacks (spiced and dried chickpeas, cookies, mystery foods, etc.). I drew the line when they offered water. Five of us sat on the tiniest bed playing cards and taking pictures for literally three hours. At one point the girls turned on some music and asked me to dance with them. It was all pretty ridiculous, but so fun. Dinner finally came at about 6pm and everyone sat around me watching me eat. I kept pleading for someone to join me, especially since there was cilantro everywhere UGH!, but they kept saying "Guest is God, Guest is God" and just sat and watched with giant grins on their faces. After dinner they took me up onto the "terrace" which is a tiny roof on top of every apartment. Each apartment is almost on top of each other so you could literally shake hands with the person on the next terrace. And the sight was absolutely amazing. The sun was setting and you could see Delhi for miles, children were flying hundreds of kites in the air, and I became an instant attraction. Everyone was waving at me, yelling "Halloo!" and "Namaste," and begging me to take their picture. Honestly, this was the happiest I've been since my arrival in India. There was music on the street so we danced a little, and every so often I would stop and stare at all the kites floating over me. A great afteroon. And this was just one day. Everyday is like this: Intense, chaotic, emotional. And I'm trying to do more than just endure it.

......OMG Kawaljeez JUST CALLED ME!!!! She seriously just called me and told me that she went straight home after work, packed up all her stuff, moved to a friend's house, and even changed her phone number so the man cannot contact her. I can't believe it!! We are getting coffee tomorrow!!! OMG ok what a high! Thans to everyone for the well-wishes, especially those I've vented to about some of the rough stuff. The photos posted are from the roof this evening. My favorite are the two little boys: One doing a handstand and the other break-dancing :)

SPOWAC

The monsoons have finally come, giving us a much needed break from the heat. There is nothing like monsoon rain. It just pours and pours and pours without any mercy and it's so wonderful because it seems like even the pavement is thirsty. I'm starting my second week working with SPOWAC (Society for the Promotion of Women and Children) and it's truly been one of the most eye-opening experiences. This NGO is absolutely incredible. In brief, SPOWAC works with girls around 17-22 years old and they take workshops to learn skills in areas such as beautician, weaving, computers, English, and others. After six months they receive a certificate which helps them be more competitive in the job market. I've been put in a beautician classroom from 11am until 2pm and then the computer classroom until 4pm. In the beautician classroom the girls learn how to do make-up, threading, give manicures and pedicures, waxing, hair styles, facials and while my official role is to weave in English throughout the morning, my unofficial role has been to act as their practice client. So everyday the girls do my hair, massage my arms and legs, and do my make-up. It's a tough day :) One of the photos posted is of me in Indian bridal make-up!!!! Pretty amazing. By the way, the girls were methodically counting the number of dots on my forehead and when I asked the significance, they explained that the number of dots depends on the size of the forehead. Apparently my forehead required a lot of dots! The teacher's name is Deepa and aside from teaching at SPOWAC she runs her own salon in Delhi. I've posted another picture of her giving a lecture to some of the girls on different facial nourishing creams. Of note is that moments after this picture was taken she started talking about creams to be used especially with oily skin and after her explanation she motioned to me and said, "Oily skin like Emerald's. You see?" All the girls looked at my face and nodded in agreement--pretty hilarious. They also complain about how my hair is too silky which makes it hard to do proper Indian hair styles--My apologies!!! I really enjoy being in this classroom a lot. The girls are so kind and playful and are always so concerned that I'm not eating enough because I consistently decline the food they offer me. During a short break at 1:30pm they also teach me yoga, as they have noticed I have a hard time sitting on the floor all day. Deepa is really wonderful too. I usually give her a one-on-one English lesson while the girls practice their beautician skills and the other day she grabbed my hand and started examining my palm gave me an impromptu palm-reading. All good things of course and when we started talking about love we got into a conversation about what it is like to be a woman in India. She speaks excellent English and was very blunt with me, saying "a woman's life in India is very difficult." Deepa grew up with a very conservative father who arranged a marriage for her when she was 17 (she is in her thirties now) to an equally conservative man ten years her senior. She explained that she must ask permission to go anywhere, is never allowed to travel by herself, and had to convince her husband to let her work at SPOWAC even though they needed the extra income. She isn't dramatic about her story, just genuine and honest. When I mentioned Rajiv's differing account of arranged marriage she explained that higher class Indian families tend to be more open to women's roles. Deepa also knows all of her student's personal stories as well (she has shared a few with me and asked me to keep them private) and there is a clear student-teacher relationship within the classroom that is very strong--they all really care about each other and it seems that their time in the SPOWAC classrooms may be where they maintain most of the control of their day. Deepa explained that if the girls weren't at SPOWAC they would be staying at home tending to their own house until they were married off. Of all the amazing accomplishments of SPOWAC the most important one seems to be just putting women in contact with each other for long periods of the day so they can build relationships and learn from one another. Madame Lakshmi (the President of SPOWAC) says that even after the program the girls tend to remain friends for a long time. Deepa explained that many of the girls come from lower middle class conservative families and had to convince their families to let them attend. The benefit of educating girls isn't really understood I guess. To recruit the girls SPOWAC employs Community Mobilizers (their literal job title!!) to go out into the community and do recruitment presentations. The CM's are these big, handsome, extremely cheerful, well-dressed men and they have offered to take me with them this week to watch some of their presentations--very exciting!!! Regarding the computer class, I was seriously anxious about being in charge of teaching computer skills as my own skills are marginal at best. But these girls are learning the absolute basics: Caps Lock, Tab, Enter, Delete. The other day I showed a this girl Priyti (pronounced like Pretty) how to use the Shift key instead of Caps Lock to make capitol letters and I swear she beamed with the new knowledge. I've attached a photo of the girls learning during a computer lesson on Page Breaks. The lesson took over an hour and even with the heat and the being uncomfortable from sitting for so long the girls visibly worked hard to stay focused. They really seem to value every moment they have at SPOWAC. Sriram, Madam Lakshmi's son who also works for SPOWAC, explained that SPOWAC is mostly trying to change minds. As much as they are trying to help the girls, they are trying to change the environment around the girls as well. It's hard though because much of the state of woman in India is based on embedded cultural traditions that can't just be thrown out. "It's a difficult balance. We must promote reform while still maintaining respect for culture." It's been an amazing week and I'm so glad I've given myself another month to learn more. Happy 4th everyone!!!

The Women of Delhi

This week has been pretty....can't find the right word...interesting (I guess that will do). Delhi is truly like no place I have ever been. When I go out into Delhi the most obvious thing is how few women are out in public. It's quite overwhelming really. I mean, there are women, but the ratio of men to women is astonishing. This week Rajiv took us to the movie theatre to see a Bollywood film (which was FABULOUS by the way!) and apart from my group there wasn't a single woman in the audience. I'm not sure what to make of this yet. When I asked questions to Rajiv, Priya, and the Indians that happen to be on this trip with me, they explained that it is still very common for women to stay at home. I'm trying really hard to not impose judgment and ask questions before I come up with conclusions, but it's admittedly difficult. I've honestly never been in a context where it's normal for a large portion of the women to wear burkas or hijabs (covering their hair), and I'm still trying to sort out my reactions. One of my fellow travelers is Palestinian and the other night we stayed up for hours talking about the difference between what is written in the Quran and how Muslim culture is practiced. I won't go into details but just know that it was a very interesting conversation and she was very patient with all my questions. But it was also very frustrating, and I hope I can learn more.
Along the same lines, the other day Rajiv discussed in detail about what constitutes an arranged marriage in India. I don't know about you but when I hear that term, "arranged marriage," I automatically assume that the woman has no choice in the matter. However, after hearing Rajiv's explanation it sounds like it's just heavy involvement by the parents which is generally welcome by the daughter (and son...by the way, gay marriage is legal in India!!!). While I throw dirty looks at my parents when they even hint at questions about my personal life, over here a girl's decision to marry is regarded as one of the biggest decisions of her life and it makes sense that the parents would be so heavily involved, and that she would invite their involvement. You wonder which method actually makes more sense. Of course forced marriages do happen, but the majority of the time the girl (and guy) can veto any suitor. In addition, it's socially acceptable for parents to put ads in the newspapers looking for suitors for their daughters. These ads are expensive so if you can afford to post an ad that automatically means you come from a wealthy family. That one really threw me for a loop! It's all just so fascinating. I've honestly never been in a context where women are being treated so differently. Women wear burkas and at the same time India has a female president.Tomorrow I start my volunteer work with the woman's empowerment center http://spowac.org/profile.html and I am extremely anxious to learn more from the women themselves. In the mean time, I have been taking precaution never going anywhere by myself and wearing clothes that completely cover me.
On a different note, I went to the Taj Majal yesterday and it did not disappoint in the least. It is one of the most extraordinary things I have ever seen and until this past April I never would have dreamed I would have had such a privilege! For those of you who don't know the story, the Taj Mahal was built in 1631 (completed 22 years later!) by emperor Shah Jahan who was so devastated by the death of his wife that it was built to honor her. She died after her 14th child birth! And to think, these days we let men get away with just giving flowers. Hmmph! Attached are photos of me at the Taj Majal, some locals who let me photograph them.

Rajiv and Priya

I am so in love with my host parents and I thought I would give a brief glimpse into who is taking care of me over here. Priya (pronouced Pree-yah) is my host mom. She is a former University professor, she is half my height, and has a very friendly smile. She also has this absolutely fantastic laugh which sounds like a school girl's cackle--I don't know how else to describe it. She also is an amazing cook! She cooks a different dish for us at every meal which leaves me so excited for breakfast, and she has invited me to help cook with her so I can learn some of the recipes. I've been popping up at 5am every morning so this shouldn't be a problem at breakfast time. Rajiv (pronounced Rah-jeev) is the country coordinator and also a former University professor. Rajiv absolutely loves India, especially Delhi, and is eager to show us around. Yesterday we sat down with Rajiv and he gave us a quick Hindi lesson telling us how to say basic important phrases. We learned "Hello" and "Thank You" and also phrases such as, "How much is this saree?" "Pass the roti," "Go away or I'll call the police." Important stuff. I asked Rajiv if I would get laughed at when trying to speak Hindi and he replied, "Yes of course they will laugh at you! Enjoy it!" My kind of guy. Rajiv also showed us his wedding album and explained all the different customs--such a treat! I've actually driven by a couple of wedding processions and they look like so much fun. Well enough for now. I've posted pictures of me at important Indian monuments called Humayun's Tomb and Qutub Minar, one with Rajiv, and a photo of Priya on her wedding day.